The Story of Severus Snape
by Lizzy88
Summary: Book 1 of 7. The complete HP books, told from Snape's direction. Severus deals with painful memories of Lilly, talking about feelings with Dumbledore, dealing with Harry Potter, and living through the dangers of deceiving the Dark Lord.


Severus Snape narrowed his eyes as he surveyed his surroundings with obvious displeasure. He had never much liked the start of term feast, but this particular feast was one he had been both looking forward to and dreading for many, many years. He turned his head slightly to his right, his dark eyes momentarily meeting the bright blue ones watching him closely from down the table. Albus Dumbledore looked questionably at Severus, who just shook his head almost imperceptibly and returned his gaze to the sea of students in front of him. The large oaken doors leading into the Great Hall suddenly swung open, and Minerva McGonagal strode into the room, followed by a tightly-knit crowd of frightened first years. Severus's insides clenched in anticipation and fear. He wanted to look away, but his gaze was inevitably drawn towards the first year's pale, excited faces. He was searching... would he know him when he saw him? Albus had said to look at their eyes... and there he was. It was imistakeable. Severus felt a wave of nausea sweep over him as he found the brilliant emerald eyes that so closely resembled Lilly Evan's. He had never thought he would see them again. He felt tears prick at his eyes and angrily brushed them away. It was impossible to look away from those beautiful green eyes... and yet... in what other ways did the boy look like his mother? He had to find out. With extreme effort, Severus tore his gaze from Lilly's eyes and forced himself to stare at the boy's other features. It was like another punch in the stomach, but there was no sadness or longing here, only a burning, intense hatred. He was vaguely aware of someone sitting down next to him and speaking, but the fury bubbling up inside him was eradicating all rational thought. The sorting was nearly complete, yet he had eyes only for the boy. He was the very image of James Potter, and how easy it would be to think it him... if not for the very essence of Lilly throw into the mix, a cruel stroke of irony. And suddenly those eyes met his- and his heart leaped, then plummeted as he took in the jet black hair yet again. The anger leapt like a flame in his chest, and the green eyes quickly widened and looked away.

Severus turned to Quirell, sitting next to him, and tried to listen to what he was saying... but to no avail. Those eyes drew him in like a magnet. He was more than happy when the feat had ended, and he turned hung back to wait for Albus to join him as the rest of the assembled students and staff trickled out of the doors and towards their dormitories. Albus Dumbledore took his time sweeping crumbs off his chair and robes and arranging his pointed wizard's hat into a more stately position before turning to survey Severus with an expression of benign interest.

"Well, Severus? What did you think of your first glance at Harry Potter?"

Severus couldn't speak. Dumbledore could read his emotions as easily as an open book, and yet the questions were insisted upon.

"I-" He narrowed his eyes. "He looks very much like his father." He finally managed, through clenched teeth.

"Except the eyes." Dumbledore smiled at him gently. "Lilly's eyes exactly, as I'm sure you noticed, Severus."

"Yes I noticed!" His voice echoed rawly in the empty hall. He glared hotly at Dumbledore, who blinked pleasantly back at him. Severus instantly regretted his outburst, yet cursed Dumbledore's blatant lack of a reaction. Anger or sadness, something, _anything_, would be better than this blank smile that infuriated him so.

"You have him in your class on Friday." Said Dumbledore, and to Severus's relief there was a hint of a reprimand in his voice. "You have until then to get accustomed to the idea." And he turned on his heel and swept out of the Hall, leaving Snape to collapse into a chair and blend into the dark.

* * *

If afternoons in the staff room were usual tedious for Severus, they were nothing less than torture now. For the first four days of term there was nothing discussed by the professors than Harry Potter.

"_Excellent_ in charms," Swooned Filius Flitwick the very first day of classes. "He even took notes! Quite impressed, really, _quite_ impressed..."

"V-very... p-p-polit-t-te..." Stammered Quirell, his nose in a book. Even Minerva had a moderately good word for the boy. So tired was Severus of hearing the boy's name mentioned with loving detail and outstanding praise, he himself refused to say anything about him, either good or bad and continually tried to ignore his existence. The staff only liked him because he was famous!

. Severus alone had not had a class with the Potter boy... until today. A double period of Gryffindor and Slytherin first years, and Severus was dreading the experience. Lilly herself had been brilliant at potions. She alone had been as good as he in the class Gryffindors and Slytherins had even then shared. In the beginning they had sat together, concocting the perfect potions, charming the professor, Horace Slughorn, laughing at the arrogance of those boys at the back of the class... but things had changed, hadn't they? Would Harry Potter have his mother's talent and natural ability? He was frightened to find out. He prepared for his class as normally as possible, trying not to think of seeing those bottle-green eyes again, and was hovering in the front when the students filed in at long last. It was a horror to feel a lack of confidence in his own classroom, his very domain, and he was prepared to make up for it by scaring the first years into submission. Children could smell fear, he reminded himself, thinking of the classes he had had as a first year, and the way students tested unfamiliar teacher's limits and strictness. Best to make a good first impression and gain respect right of the bat. He glared down at them as they scurried into their seats. He waited for them to grow still before taking roll. Harry Potter had his head down, rummaging in his book bag... with his eyes hidden, it was like stepping back in time... to potions lessons in this very classroom, classes where James Potter had reigned king and he, Severus, had scribbled on his book in the corner... The memory again ignited the flame of rage in his chest, and when he came to Harry Potter's name on the register, his anger was at boiling point.

"Ah yes," He murmured, careful to avoid the gaze of Lilly's eyes. "Harry Potter. Our new- _celebrity._"

A gaggle of Slytherin boys in the corner sniggered appreciatively. Severus ignored them and continued to call roll, very aware of Harry Potter's attention focused on him. After roll he gave them his usual first-lesson speech, designed to frighten and awe them all, and couldn't help but spare a look in Harry Potters direction, eager yet fearful to see those eyes again... but Harry Potter was not paying attention. Harry Potter was writing on some parchment. The same infuriating arrogance and disregard for rules that his father had had! But perhaps... he also had his mother's genius at potions...

"Potter!" He barked. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" He could practically hear Lilly's voice...

"_Sev! The Draught of Living death is powdered root of asphodel, not dragon's horn! But the crushing the beetles was a wonderful touch! You're so good at this...:"_

Harry Potter looked blank. "I don't know sir."

And this was the brilliant boy that all the staff was talking about? "Tut tut - fame clearly isn't everything." He said aloud, allowing some of his anger to seep into his voice. "Lets try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

"_You don't need to do all this antidote nonsense, Sev. Just shove a bezoar down their throats!" _And she had laughed...

"I don't know sir."

"Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter?" The boy was looking lost and angry now, his eyes... oh those eyes... looking straight at him.

"What is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

"_Its also called aconite, Sev. Don't forget! WAM. Wolfsbane, Aconite, Monkshood! You'll always remember that, won't you Sev?..."_

"I don't know," Harry Potter said, "I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her?"

Hermione? Severus jerked his gaze from Harry Potter and realized that a girl was standing up, her fingers scrabbling at the air. Pathetic... Lilly Evans had always known the answers, she had never flaunted it... How dare this boy point this out? If he didn't know he should-

"Sit down!" He shot at the girl. "For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is know as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same planet, which also goes by the name of aconite." He'd better start teaching now... He was paying far too much attention to this disrespectful boy. " Well? Why aren't you all copying that down?" Everyone jumped into action."And a point will be taken from Gryffindor house for your cheek, Potter."

Later in the class period a short chubby boy ended up melting the cauldron he was working at. How well Severus remembered that memorable class period when Sirius Black's cauldron had melted in a similar way. He himself had seen what Black had been doing wrong, but hadn't warned him- Black or James Potter would have done the same to him. Which, he reminded himself, realizing that Harry Potter was right next to the plump boy, was most likely what the famous "Boy Who Lived" had done. _Just like his father..._

"You- Potter- why didn't you tell him not to add the quills? Thought he'd make you look good if he got it wrong, did you? That's another point you've lost for Gryffindor." He took vindictive pleasure in punishing the boy who was so like his father in so many ways... and yet it pained him still to see those green eyes narrowed in dislike in his direction.

Class ended, and Harry Potter was first out the dungeon doors. Severus watched the rest of the students pack up their bags and depart, then sighed, mentally exhausted, and skulked into his darkened office, staring moodily at the jars of pickled animals and eerily glowing potions. Unable to rest, he paced a few times around the room then stalked through the halls of the school, empty and quiet now while all the students were eating lunch, and found his way to the stone gargoyles outside Dumbledore's office.

"Chocolate Frog." He said, and the stone gargoyles leapt aside, revealing the twisting staircase up to his office full of whirling gizmos and puffing machines. He knocked once on the door, hoping Dumbledore had taken lunch in his office as he sometimes did, and was rewarded with a soft "Enter!" In reply. He slowly let himself in and stood, awkward and silent in the middle of the room. Severus always found himself feeling extremely small in Dumbledore's circular office full of light. He seemed to regress and instantly become an insignificant teenager... quiet and abashed.

"Severus." Dumbledore smiled. "I trust all is well?"

"Yes, Albus... I was just wondering..." He trailed off.

"Yes?" Dumbledore prompted, and his eyes twinkled merrily at him, bolstering his confidence.

"I was wondering if I might borrow your pensive."

Dumbledore nodded understandingly.

"Of course."

Severus quickly crossed the room and picked up the shallow stone basin and its puddle of light. He left the room with a thankful nod at Dumbledore, and closed the door as Fawkes uttered a low, musical cry.

* * *

**Alright guys- a first Snape attempt! Tell me whatcha think :) ~Lizzy88**


End file.
